Sunday, April 24, 2011

Grandparents

So my paternal Pappaw died almost 2 years ago. He had a weak heart compounded by age. My husband was deployed. He left behind my Mammaw. There aren't enough hours in the day to tell you what an amazing person my Mammaw is. She got married young, quit work, had 5 babies in a 2 bedroom/1 bath house (which they converted the dining room for a 3rd br), and raised that family on limited funds. Oh, did I mention 4 of those kids were boys?

She dealt with things like my dad stabbing out his eye when he was 5, the boys feeding my aunt dog food, fights, marriages, divorces, remarriages, grandkids, and even great-grandkids. She and my Pappaw. It was always the two of them. I won't gloss over my Pappaw. He had problems. Things I take issue with, but he is gone and I am not here to speak ill of the dead. I guess he thought he did his best. I just choose to disagree. But if there is one thing he definitely did right, it is love my Mammaw.

And if there is one thing never in question about my Mammaw, it's that she loves her family. She would give anything and everything, and has on some occasions, for those that she loves. She is from a different time, of course. She didn't usually speak unless spoken to, she didn't drive, she didn't curse or talk about private things like bras. haha. She used a soft word to turn away wrath, that's for sure.

You're probably thinking right now, wow, she talks as if her Grandmother is dead. No, this isn't the case, she is just different. Why? Alzheimer's. It has stolen that wonderful personality. She is still sweet, loving, and kind, but now she doesn't understand. She can't reason or remember. She gets confused and distraught. And it's pretty painful to watch. Unfortunately, even though my Pappaw was physically declining, he was still very sharp. They complemented each other. But when he passed, she couldn't function. My dad said he thinks the Alzheimer's is maybe a small gift from God because she loved my Pappaw so completely that she would be sick with grief if she could remember and understand that he was gone. She remembers him, but she can't reason the fact that he is dead.

We moved her into an assisted living facility last weekend. It was the hardest thing ever, but it was time. She was either going to burn down her house, get robbed, or just walk out the front door one day. So far she is not happy, but not miserable. In a few weeks, she won't remember not being there. And as sad as that is, it's a small blessing in disguise.

Mammaw and Pappaw on their Wedding Day. <3

3 comments:

  1. Your grandmother sounds like a strong woman. I haven't seen mine in so many years - they're on a different continent and too old to travel and our family can't afford the trip. I think it's wonderful that you are able to be there for your mammaw and support her as much as you are able. blessings to you all.

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  2. I am from Tennessee too! I live here in the good ole K-town!

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  3. Aw, Heather, I'm sorry I've been so distracted this week. :( That had to be so difficult. **hugs** I love you!

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