Draw me a map.

Sometimes I feel so lost. Like what am I really doing in this world right now? I look so forward to the day I have a job. The day I leave this house again. Regularly. People hear me say, Oh I am currently a housewife on a military base in Hawaii and that translates in their head to No Job, Beach Bummin' it in Hawaii. How could this be bad, right?? Here's your answer---Easy.

I've always been reliant on myself. I've always had a job, I've always had a purpose. Now don't get me wrong, I love my husband, I love being here with him. I love having all this time we won't get back. But I am missing feeling important. I am missing feeling needed. I am missing feeling productive. Like I could look at something and make it happen. Or I could look at something I did and be proud of what I accomplished. What do I accomplish now? Laundry. Whoo Hoo, let's throw a parade. Ugh.

It's lonely. And I don't have a reason to be lonely. I mean, I have a great husband, a sweet family of a kitty and a doggie. My hubs takes wonderful care of me and makes me happy. He is a wonderful provider and gives me more than I need, he gives me what I want. And he is here part of the time when he's not working, but I just miss that feeling of accomplishment.

I am not sure where this was going. But there it is. The laundry buzzer that is. Go figure...

Semper my A**

I hate the Marine Corps today. Perhaps I'll expand later. Perhaps not. Boo.

Archery, Camping, and all the rest!!

So I have a new hobby!! Archery!! And I'm actually really good. It's super fun. But everytime I mess up with the bow, I bruise my left arm. Well, as with anything you want to be good at, you have to practice. So, when I practice, I bruise the same spot. So I have a really really nice forearm bruise. It's been really fun to go out shopping or to restaurants with my husband and see the evil looks he gets from people. I'm sure they think he beats me. Little do they know his little wife could shoot him if he tried! haha.

And it's off to camping this weekend for us and the R's!! We're so excited. I'll make sure to give full details when we get back!!

Lastly, I'll leave you with this. My husband and I had a beautiful destination Hawaiian beach wedding. I had the dress of my dreams, the husband of my dreams, the view of my dreams. I had a dream wedding. So while enjoying my wedding for myself, I thought I would include a picture of our dream wedding. :)

Susie Homemaker

So, you should know first and foremost, growing things in Hawaii is very very difficult. The soil is different. The sun is different. The humidity is different. And of course, the foliage is different.

Having said that, growing things for me always meant a veggie garden. Hey, I'm from East Tennessee, what do you expect?? :) But, being reasonable both in the size of my yard and the reality of my location, I set out to grow... dum dum dum dum..... Flowers. haha.

So, fast forward a year later to my dead plants. HAHAHAHA. Ok, so some of them lived, but not the pretty ones. Go figure. This lead me to my current flower garden. It's beautiful, and alive. It's made of Heather (yes I know, I'm special), Basil, and some lilies. Yes, a BEAUTIFUL purple flower garden with splashes of red and yellow. But anywho, the basil is why we are here. It started out small, and is now HUGE!! I trimmed it a bunch today and brought inside. I've been drying it all day now. Hopefully it will turn out. But I will have so much I'm definitely going to have to give it away. haha. So now I'm growing my own herbs. It's kinda cool really.

I'm proud of myself. The hubs is amused. But at least I'm far from bored!!!

Dramatic much?? Me? Never.

 Dramatic.

That's me. So, I tend to overreact when it comes to illness or pain, etc. But, in my defense, I've had kidney stones, gall stones, ovarian cysts, my gallbladder removed, a broken ankle/foot, and migraines. I understand pain. But, as a result, I tend to look for problems where they are not. Don't get me wrong, I don't hear about someone with cancer and automatically assume I'm dying, I just more or less find something wrong with myself and blow it out of proportion.

Which brings us to my foot. So I mentioned that I broke my ankle/foot. There are conflicting reports from several x-rays as to which bones were broken, everyone just agreed something was broken. haha. I could see the jagged piece of bone on the x-ray but like I paid attention in anatomy. Anywho, this was Thanksgiving 2008. I lived on crutches and in a big black boot that went to my knee for awhile and then went on my merry way.

Until 2 days ago.

On Tuesday, while chatting via GMail with my Kinnel, I began to scratch the top of my foot. That's when I noticed it. This GIANT lump. It's a knot really. So I promptly checked my other foot. No Knot. Which means one thing. I am DEFORMED. I begin to freak out and jump around, looking at my feet, turning them side to side. It won't go away. (Mind you it is about the circumference of a quarter and the height of a marble. It's huge. Has the firmness of your actual ankle) When I begin hyperventilating I realize I need to calm down or pass out. Neither is good. haha.

For the rest of the day, and continuing on, I believe my "knot" is hurting me. The worst part? I know the pain is in my head. My loopy, irrational head. But it won't go away. My husband assures me it's just scar tissue and the doctor will just say, "Oh, it's fine". But I am deformed now!!!

Grr. Oh, and just for your knowledge, Yes, I am going to visit the doctor over this. Irrational or not, I have a lump on my foot that I sure as hell wasn't born with that needs to mind it's own business. :)