Thursday, August 26, 2010

Draw me a map.

Sometimes I feel so lost. Like what am I really doing in this world right now? I look so forward to the day I have a job. The day I leave this house again. Regularly. People hear me say, Oh I am currently a housewife on a military base in Hawaii and that translates in their head to No Job, Beach Bummin' it in Hawaii. How could this be bad, right?? Here's your answer---Easy.

I've always been reliant on myself. I've always had a job, I've always had a purpose. Now don't get me wrong, I love my husband, I love being here with him. I love having all this time we won't get back. But I am missing feeling important. I am missing feeling needed. I am missing feeling productive. Like I could look at something and make it happen. Or I could look at something I did and be proud of what I accomplished. What do I accomplish now? Laundry. Whoo Hoo, let's throw a parade. Ugh.

It's lonely. And I don't have a reason to be lonely. I mean, I have a great husband, a sweet family of a kitty and a doggie. My hubs takes wonderful care of me and makes me happy. He is a wonderful provider and gives me more than I need, he gives me what I want. And he is here part of the time when he's not working, but I just miss that feeling of accomplishment.

I am not sure where this was going. But there it is. The laundry buzzer that is. Go figure...


  1. I have been feeling the same exact way lately - sitting on a degree I'm not using, can't find a job, feeling no sense of accomplishment...urgh. As much as I love my hubby and he provides for me, I want to be able to contribute as well. Just know you aren't alone hun!

  2. I know EXACTLY how you feel... it's so frustrating having a degree and doing NOTHING with it. Even though people say I "have an excuse"and I think being a stay at home mom is one of the most important jobs there is, and I feel so lucky that we are in a position where I can do that right now, I still feel like I'm not really living up to my capabilities.

  3. i so know where you are coming from espically living in hawaii!! i moved here with a bachlers degree and many years of experience in waitressing and retail... and i still couldnt get a job even at a restaurant i use to work at back on the east coast!

    well good luck spending time with ur family and taking care of the home and enjoying life here cause soon you may move!!

  4. Thanks Ladies!! You all made my day. I also have a degree hanging in my office collecting dust. Tons of experience didn't matter when I don't speak Japanese!! Then there is always my favorite interview question, "So which branch of service is your husband with?" GRRR you'd think they google my address of my resume and get Base! haha.



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