اليوم السادس

Something you hope you never have to do.

Bury a child. If I was to ever outlive a child I think it would kill me. I read lots of historical books and am very familiar with the fact that until this last century or so parents have always been required to bury children. It, however, is something I do not wish to experience

This extends to beyond once my child, should I be fortunate to have them, has grown to adulthood. I don't care if my child is 5 or 50, they will still be my babies.

So, since my husband and I do not have children of the human persuasion, I leave you with pictures of the children we do have. :)

El Dia Cinco

Something you hope to do in your life.

Here is where I'm supposed to write, Become a wife and mother. But, oh wait, I'm already married, and, oh wait, I'm so not ready for a baby. So that is in the someday category, right up there next to World Peace. ha, Ok, maybe not that far off, but you get the idea.

So what is something I hope to do in my life?

I hope to learn how to ride a bicycle. That's right, I'm a grown woman who cannot ride a bicycle. At least not without training wheels. And I haven't seen those in adult sizes lately... I want to learn so that people will no longer make fun of me when they hear I can't do it. I want to learn so my husband and I have another activity we can do together. I want to learn so that when my kids are learning from their dad they can't quit and use the argument, but mom can't do it. So, lookout world I'm going to be riding on TWO wheels!!

Day 4

Something you have to forgive someone for.

Wow, these just get harder and harder. This one would be my ex. And I forgive him for cheating on me. We were together for 10 years. We were planning a wedding. He was the Cory to my Topanga. And he cheated on me. I thought the world was going to end. I even took him back at first because I couldn't imagine life without him. Then I found out about the "others". She was merely the last of many.

I deleted him from facebook, changed my phone number, wiped him from my life. But never far from my mind. But one day I realized I wasn't angry anymore. I realized that if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be married to the wonderful man I am married to.

He wasn't right for me. My best friend, my confidant, the person I thought to spend the rest of my life with wasn't right for me. We were not meant to be. And I forgive him. Because the only person I was hurting by holding a grudge, was me.

Sometimes you do meet your soulmate when you are 9 years old. But sometimes you don't. And that's ok.

 

Day 3

Something you have to forgive yourself for.

This is a hard one. Not hard to think of, just hard to admit. But for you, I will admit it.

I let myself become a victim.

I had a boyfriend. He was "great", but really, he was terrible. He never hit me. Not once. He used his words. He controlled my actions, he controlled my thoughts. He controlled my life and made me feel worthless. And I thought I loved him. Boy was I wrong. It came to a head when he camped outside my house one day and the police had to be called. He'd been there for more than 5 hours. He'd been on the deck outside my bedroom. He told me he was at school.

I spent months in therapy. I found my husband. I moved on in a way better way. But sometimes I still remember those times and wonder. How did I, a smart college graduate young woman, allow someone to overrun my life. How did I let him ruin my self esteem and self worth? How did I let my judgement become so compromised? I saw how people treated me, I saw that they no longer trusted me to make life choices. I was still a victim months after he was gone from my life.

And that is something I still work on everyday to overcome.

Day 2

Something you love about yourself--

Well, I would say that the thing I love most isn't really about myself. It's about the people I surround myself with. My husband, family, and friends are the greatest asset I have. They are always there to lift me up when I need it and also there to point out when I'm wrong. They aren't afraid I will cease being friends with them if they disagree with me and that is important. I also have the same liberties with them. I'm never afraid of losing them. It makes me who I am. And I love that.

When all else fails, jump on the bandwagon...

So, I know so many people doing this it's impossible for me to give just one credit for my starting it. Hopefully I can keep up with it faithfully......dum dum dum Drumroll please....

Here's my 30 Days of Truth.

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.

This is so endearing...Well, I'd like to say, "Oh I don't hate anything about myself, I love who I am, where I came from, and where I'm going!" But we all know just how much bologna is involved in that statement. So.... I'm going to go with my temper. I get so easily irritated. I let every little thing make me angry which unfortunately for my husband means he bears the brunt of it frequently. But it's something I'm working on very hard and he says he loves me for my "passion". haha. :)

Unexpected dangers of deployment.

We all know the rules of OPSEC and are all so equally tired of it that we could scream. We find it annoying to have to tell family and friends things through code. "It's the same month as mom's birthday, got me??" We've all used similar comments to keep our circle informed. We've all been cautioned on not using the stickers with "Half my heart is in Iraqistan". We've all tied our yellow ribbons inside our home rather than on our front porch as our right SHOULD dictate.

And yet...

We've also all been that third wheel with friends where we assured our husband's weren't deadbeats who wouldn't come but rather were heroes who couldn't come. We've also all created photos in Picnik with captions on how are hearts are lonely.We've all assumed it was innocent and we were being so safe nothing could happen to us. Our husbands are the ones in danger, not us. Right?

Unfortunately,  that isn't the case. This weeks case of 24 year old Shana Hight is yet another example of the danger facing military wives. Certain predators out there will prey upon women they consider easy targets. Who seems easier than a woman whose husband is guaranteed to be away? Also important to remember is that the danger isn't gone just because you live on-base. Fellow military members and spouses are a danger to you as well. Sadly,  23 year old Myria Silva made a poor choice in having an affair while her husband was deployed, but that did not mean she deserved what Jermaine Johnson gave her.

This is just two examples out of many. The danger is real. OPSEC is meant to do more than protect your husband. It is also to protect you. Or your little ones. Please be careful in your daily dealings to keep yourself and your loved ones safe. We don't want to read about you next.

where have I been??

That's a good question. The answer?? Nowhere. haha. I've just been a sucky blogger of late. For that, my darling readers, I apologize.

We've been very busy though!! We did another luau (I never get tired of those!), the swap meet, we went fishing and spent several beach days. For the record, while fishing I caught a Puffer Fish!! The other people on the pier were incredibly jealous. I was sooo proud. :)

As for the beach, I have the sunburn to prove it. But thanks to my handy dandy SPF I am not too bad burned, just a slight red all over. hahahahaha. That is the one thing Hawaii is good for, the beaches.

Lately I've had such a strong desire to redecorate, but I just don't know exactly how I want to change things because I love my house just sooo much! We are moving soon (within the next 6 months or so) so I don't want to invest much in changing it cause I will get to start over with some stuff. I'm nervous for the future, excited but scared at the unknown all at the same time. It's hard to just pick up and start over, but I'm ready. SOO ready. I get island fever a lot here. And military base fever is so much worse. It's like tiny island fever. UGH! Sometimes I would kill for the companionship of someone over 25. Just sayin'.

Anywho, I'm sorry I was away so long and will try to do better!!! Loves!